The Pendulum-y Thing About Life

There is this weird pendulum-y thing in life that drives us through the phases of our lives. “Pendulum-y” is for sure a made up word. It was made up by one of my horn idols, the walking bumper sticker herself, Denise Tryon, so I feel justified in using it.

A pendulum is a weight hung from a fixed point so that it may freely swing backward and forward. In this grand metaphor of our life, the fixed point is our true authentic self. If the pendulum were to yield to gravity and stop dead center, this would be the point at which our habits and actions are aligned to who we are at our core. At this point, we have integrity, balance, and peace of mind. Our actions match our intent, we are speaking our truth, and our lifestyle at this point is completely sustainable. It is a place of mental health bliss.

This is a wonderful place to strive toward, however, because of the pendulum nature of life, you cannot remain there very long. A pendulum has momentum behind it, and in our efforts to find our purpose and meaning in life, we sling ourselves backward and forward around center. The actions we take to find our true authentic selves form habits, good or bad, that continue to push us in the same direction. Similar to a line of dominoes falling, one action leads to another, and momentum gathers. Habits are formed that help you achieve what you are set after and eventually your lifestyle is shifted as the pendulum swings towards a balanced way of life centered around your ideal self. It would be just wonderful if the pendulum would come to a rest at this point!

Instead, sometimes the momentum of passionately chasing after our goals sends the weight of our pendulum shooting past center and away from who we are at our core. The turning point is when you realize the decisions you are making and the lifestyle you have created does not match what you truly desire out of life. Maybe you realize practicing your instrument five hours a day is making you want to quit playing music. Eating vegetables every meal and running every day is making you completely worn out on fitness. Sleeping a full eight hours every night and working all day is making you feel like you do not have any friends or a social life. Striving to achieve the goal of reading two books every week is making you disinterested in what you are reading.  

All of the habits are positive in these examples. Practicing, sleeping, eating well, and reading are all positive habits to have in your life. They can, however, swing you past the point of balance, and this is usually felt as burnout. Too much of a good thing is a bad thing; spending too much energy on creating good habits drains you and creates a lifestyle that is not sustainable.

So what do we do? We act in ways to counteract how we feel. We quit our instrument because of burnout. We give up dieting and binge on high calorie foods. We make time to go out all the time with friends and sleep fewer hours. And we stop reading altogether from lack of interest. The pendulum has swung in the opposite direction towards what can be seen as negative habits.

The goal, which some have figured out better than others, is to make the swing of the pendulum less and less extreme as you learn more about yourself and what fits best in your lifestyle. You may not be able to achieve the resting point at which your actions, habits, and routines match perfectly with your core goals and authentic self, but you can make it to where only minor adjustments are needed to live optimally.

Balance in life is just that: balance. It includes the good, bad, and the ugly in some combination. Everyone needs some type of fitness routine to stay healthy and feel confident. Everyone also needs to enjoy pizza and beer in a social setting. If you are a musician working on getting better at your craft, you best believe you need to work hard in the practice room to improve your skills. You must also take days off when needed so your passion for music stays alive. If you set any goal, whether it deals with a hobby, your job, your body, or some kind of intellectual endeavor, you must be forgiving when you fail or get off track. You must have discipline but not be a disciplinarian. You can achieve this balance just by recognizing the pendulum-y thing about life and recognizing when you need to slow the momentum of the weight so your actions, habits, and routines rest closer to the genuine purpose of who you are at your core.