The Difference Between Achieving Goals and Being Successful
Most people want to be successful or achieve their goals.
But if you spend any amount of time talking to people who are successful or have achieved their goals, you realize that some are happy and fulfilled in life and their endeavors while others simply aren’t.
That’s because some people are successful.
And others achieve their goals.
Make no mistake. They are not the same.
I am very lucky that my relationship with music and getting better on the horn has always been very healthy. I’ve never questioned music as a career choice and, even though I have been incredibly frustrated before, I remain positive in the process of reaching my goals. I feel very fulfilled in my journey to becoming a great performer and teacher.
But I think life has this cruel way of making you learn all the lessons you need whether you like it or not. I had to learn the lesson of enjoying the journey to success the hard way, but not through music.
Here’s my story:
I have been on a fitness journey for years now. It started by going off to college and not having my mom’s home-cooked southern meals everyday. After losing a few pounds, I thought “What the hell… I might as well ride this wave while it lasts.” I started P90X, a popular workout program, my sophomore year at Oklahoma State, and by then end of my undergrad degree I had lost close to 50lbs.
I moved to Austin, Tx in 2014 and immediately dropped another 20lbs or so. It is so incredibly easy to be healthy in a city full of running trails and vegan restaurants! I developed a craving for fitness. I changed my eating habits, I got a gym membership, and I began to spend lots of time figuring out how to get better at nutrition and working out. I was absolutely sure I would have success and started my fitness instagram, @RustyGetsFit, at the beginning of 2016 to track my progress and document my process.
I was HOOKED. I had never felt better or been so confident in my body in my whole life.
In October of 2016 I had reached my peak. I had incorporated fitness into my life in a very fulfilling way and was loving the results. It had become a hobby of sorts that just so happened to have an awesome effect on my body. At age 15, I weighed 215lbs, and at this point I weighed 150lbs. I had dropped 65lbs over the span of about nine years.
The cookies, pies, and cakes of the holiday season did their toll on my body, and at the end of 2016 I was terrified I was losing the progress I had up until that point. My New Year’s Resolution for 2017 was a no-brainer: Lose back down to 150lbs.
Lose back down to 150lbs. I got this. I wrote it everyday in my journal. I set reminders in my phone. I was more determined than ever. I just knew I would be successful. I counted every calorie in and out of my body. I ate lots of salads without dressing and ran longer distances than I had ever run.
It was an obsession. Every waking moment was about achieving the result. Wake up. Work out. Meal prep. Drink water. Drink coffee instead of snack. Run all the calories off. Repeat.
And after a few months... I did it. I achieved my goal of weighing 150lbs again.
In the process of reaching my goal, I also gave up my social life, developed nasty disordered eating habits, and had an obsession with stepping on the scale as many times as I could in a day. I woke up thinking about food and went to sleep hoping the number on the scale would be lower the next day.Fitness was no longer a positive thing in my life. I dreaded working out and eating meals. I was miserable, but I had achieved my goal. I weighed 150lbs again. And that was success, right?
Feeling a false sense of accomplishment, I loosened the reins on fitness just enough to lose control. In the span of the few weeks that followed, I put back on all the weight I lost plus some. I had to pull out of fitness completely and tend to the eating disorder that was wrecking my life.
I was in shock. How could I fail so hard at something I thought I had such control over? I was devastated because I didn’t know if I would ever be able to enjoy fitness again.
But after months of wrestling with it, I am proud to say that I lost all of my disordered eating habits and haven’t stepped on a scale since March.
Lesson learned. Result-oriented goals don't work.
Now, fitness is a very positive part of my life again. I’ve set new goals that have everything to do with the process without any consideration of the results. Good results come with a good process, and I know I will be happy with the results if I am happy during the process.
I put in extra effort to make sure my goal for the new year is process-oriented in every way. This year's resolution is to get a great morning and night routine that allows time for fitness, mediation, writing in a journal, and reading. This year's goal and last year's goal may achieve the same thing, but I know I will feel much happier with the results this time around.
Now I know the difference between achieving goals and being successful.
It is not uncommon for people to burn out and be pushed away from their endeavors because of an unhealthy obsession with achieving goals. I also know plenty of professionals who leave their career because the journey towards becoming the best at their job was unfulfilling. And there is also a group of people who spend most of their education and career wondering if they have found their dream and if the hard work it takes to achieve it is really worth it.
If your goals are result-oriented, there is a good chance you will never feel good enough. You will never feel fulfilled. And the hard work you put in to achieving your goal will not feel worth it.
For musicians, this means making goals to be better at practicing, time management, or studying music. Sure, you can dream of being in a top-tier orchestra one day, but the goals you set for yourself need to be focused on the thousands of steps it takes to get to that point. “Win a job” and “Prepare the rep list for three auditions” are two goals that may have the same outcome but leave you feeling completely different about your success.
So as you are entering 2018 with new goals and resolutions in mind, remember to stay focused on the process of betterment, and you will feel fulfilled in your success.